Have you ever had one of those days or one of those moments when you say out loud or to yourself:
Enough is Enough
OK now that's out of the way I can continue with what has inspired this post. First, let's start by thanking God and the universe for me getting to this place of Enough is Enough. Today started with me waking up late. Late is 6:58 AM. I was supposed to be up around 6:20 AM to greet my lovely son in the kitchen and make him chorizo and egg tacos. My 7th grade son is a phenomenal human being. He is kind, loving, funny, handsome, and makes me extremely proud to be his mother each and everyday. He doesn't ask for much..well he does ask for a lot of things..but he doesn't ask much of me as his mother. All he asks is that I be up in the morning before he leaves for the bus stop at 6:52 AM. I am up and slightly functional MOST mornings. Mind you I have a fun-sized mini human attached to at least one boob in my bed each and everyday. Not an excuse merely a fact. Today was different we had a mini adventure last night to the "Mexican Store" to specifically buy corn tortillas for me to make this breakfast. So, the amount of disappointment I felt when I woke up frantically at 6:58 AM as I heard a bus drive by my house was ridiculous.
Mexican Store visual for you.I normally start my days before my feet hit the ground and my eyes hit my phone screen by thanking God for this day. Thanking him for my children, my husband, my family, friends, and to be a blessing to someone, be kind to someone and so on and so forth. Today....that unfortunately did not happen. Instead I woke up frantic and then let out a good ol' OH SHIT I AM LATE...which set the tone for the whole morning. Nice.
I wish I could say I hopped up out the bed, turned my swag on, took a look in the mirror, and said what's up but girlbye I am not Soulja Boy Tellem' and this is not 2008. Instead I'm all like I gotta hurry, gotta get dressed, gotta go, can't be late. People at work get pissed off when I am late, even a minute or two. I have to leave at 12:00 PM today I don't want to stay past 12:00 PM its my PTO its my time. All of these thoughts and emotions running through my head while my Joel Osteen podcast was playing in the background. I don't remember much from that background noise even as I type right now, but I do remember how anxious I felt trying to get myself together. I get out of the room fully dressed and start my apology tour to my son via text. He then texts me "Mom I forgot my lunch, can you bring it to me?" It's 7:20 AM at this point and my other son is in the shower. I have to get him out the door before 7:55 AM to make sure he gets on the bus. My daughter is FINALLY blissfully asleep and so is my husband.
Immediately MOM GUILT sets in. I cannot tell my son to just buy lunch since I didn't even feed him before 1st period which is Athletics. I cant leave my other son here to fin for himself because of said mom guilt above so I must take him with me and drop him off myself at school. For your general information we live/go to school/ and work all with in a 8-10 mile radius from each of these destinations. My office is 2.5 miles away from home, one school is 1.5 miles away from home and the other is 4 miles away from home. We get it together and are out the door by 7:38 AM.
I'm going to stop here and point out that I haven't cared about being ON TIME at work in the last 8-10 years of my working life. I am just not an on time person. I don't think it matters if I am supposed to be there at 8:00 AM and I show up at 8:05 AM. I am still here before 8:30 AM and that should count for something. Unfortunately, for me at this point in my life I work for a Chinese company and apparently in China everyone is on time. This is hard for me to understand because isn't there like way more people in China than in America? It has been pointed out to me MANY times in the last 4 months at this job that if I am here even 1 freaking minute after 8:00 AM on the dot I am LATE. Now they ain't so crazy as to dock my pay or punish me but they always say "you need to make up your time at the end of the day." Before I continue on with this you should know that the days when my life is together...which is pretty much MOST days...I am here anywhere between 7:55-7:59 and your BET YOUR ASS I leave between 4:55-4:59. It works both ways guys!! This also confuses they hell out of these people I work with b/c I guess in China people work for free or whatever...but this is the good ol' US of A and this girl DON'T WORK FOR FREE.
Back to the story. I get my son's lunch to school, I get my other son to school about 5 minutes to 8:00 AM and then I get on the road. Oh I forgot to mention that I got lost AGAIN this time in the school neighborhood before dropping off my second son. So once again the anxiety of being late set in. I hit the road to work and hit all 3 lights on the way that I normally make. I pull up at 8:02 AM and walk in. As I walk into the kitchen to throw something away my boss almost walks into me..as he is walking out of the kitchen. He says oh hello I say hi and then he does something that just hit a nerve. He looks at his watch. So me being me, the Enough is Enough me I say out loud for EVERYONE to hear: YES IT IS 8:02 AM AND I AM TWO MINUTES LATE TODAY. My boss says something in Chinese to this guy who is the number one complainer of me coming in 1 minute past 8 and then silence in the office.
10 minutes or so go by and then my boss calls a tail gate meeting. Which to him means stand outside of our offices in a hallway and we talk about what we are going to do today. That's when the next trigger happens. A normally nice Chinese guy I work with says to me: What's wrong? Nothing. Huh? Are you OK? Yes, I am fine. You don't look OK, you look very tired.
In that very moment the first thing that popped into my head I kid you not was:
See in my mind I was not going to do shit today. I didn't want to talk to anyone I just wanted to get in get my 4 hours done and get the hell out of here. While I am here I am simply going to "work" on myself. Listening to Oprah, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, anyone and everyone who would help me calm the hell down. They called on me to speak during the tail gate even though I said I had nothing to add..so I made up some shit about what I was going to do. I also said I will be out at noon today and tomorrow. Awkward silence meeting over we are dismissed.
As I am half listening to voices of reason I check my go-to news website People.com and stumble across this story on Ivanka trump and some website she has called #womenwhowork and immediately I am hooked. I start to read these stories and watch these videos and I am incredibly inspired. In that moment looking at that site I hear in my ear by Jim Rohn: Enough is Enough.
I thought this is it. THIS IS THE MOMENT where it starts and I realize I am going to focus on coming into what I can do for others as well as myself. This world, this corporate world that I live right now: I am not right for this world. My soul is screaming. I don't belong here...there is void of kindness, a lack of compassion. A mindset that a strong arm rules and ugliness and greed get you far. That's not me. I am far from all of that. I am thankful for this moment. I am thankful for realizing that I need to add value to myself, I need to align myself with those wonderful women who work for THEMSELVES and are kind and have purpose to spread that kindness and be better humans. This event this build up of these events is launching me into my destiny...but I cannot leave just yet. When the timing is right (God's timing NOT my timing) I will be launched to the next level. I have experienced this time and time again in ALL aspects of my life.
I am so thankful to have today where Enough is Enough.
-Del
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